Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
