guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
