Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
