don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
