Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
