I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
