Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room

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(443): View more from Maryland

do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?

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(540): View more from Virginia

Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there

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(909): View more from California

I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar

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(+61): View more from Australia

Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.

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(254): View more from Texas

I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW

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(856): View more from New Jersey

GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!

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