so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
