i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
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