I've blown a few things in my day
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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