Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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