so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
