The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
