these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You left your phone here
Wait...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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