Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
