If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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