ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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