Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
