we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
