she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
love makes seman taste better
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
