I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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