I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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