i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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