Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
