Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
