Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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