You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
