actually, I'm a sock model
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
