I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
