Someone shit on the floor
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
