as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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