You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
