The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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