This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
