i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
