If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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