You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
