i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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