Don't you send me to vm
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
