i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
