I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
