I can tuck mytits in my pants
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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