dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
