i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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