they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize