just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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