all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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