Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
