Having a random hookup so left but love u
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
