Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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