college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
