Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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