no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
