Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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