The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
