Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
