i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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