someone get that fucking seahorse.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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