Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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