You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
