so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
