Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
