Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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